Guest Blogs

Would You Be Me?

This deeply resonates with me.

Patricia Grace

Exhaustion runs deep, into my core, my blood, bones, every atom of my being. I am tired. Even with enough sleep, I am tired. Winter’s weariness? Failures of self?

“It hard being me,” I lament to a friend, and whisper out-loud to the gods. It is hard being me, and I’m tired of it.

My thoughts tend to believe the worst every time, and that tendency consumes me in winter. Bleakness of soul matches the frigid temps. The havoc of this engulfs me in ways that wreck relationships. Others there willing to love, offering warmth and real caring, are shoved away brusquely. My best feature is turning away from you coldly.

Is that all there is left from childhood? Taking my trust, only coldness remains. I need you to keep away from me. Aloof, yet needy. It is so tiring being me. Dreaming of being someone else consumes me once…

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Guest Blogs

The Quiet Descent to Tender Ground

The healing power of perseverance…

Untangled

Eight years of muscle straining, oxygen deprived, mind exploding, grief-laden work to manage the grip of the skeleton hands of the past.

The rocky terrain and deep crevasses that held the traps of programmed words ready to pull me down into oblivion were navigated at a snail’s pace of impatient mindfulness.

Deafening winds and echoes of the past kept knocking me down, pushing me sideways, making it hard to grip the rope.

After every storm passed
I took the time to rest in the snow caves of acceptance.

So many times, wanting to give up, give in to the beast of symptoms.
But trusting, knowing, that my Sherpa would guide me through the sharpest peaks and deepest valleys.

Summiting many times, thinking there were no more hidden mountains.
Then catching glimpse of the last, gnarly climb looming just around the bend.

Everything inside me screams, “No, leave it!”
I intuitively…

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Mental Health

Stability is a Good Thing

I haven’t been posting much lately because I’ve felt like I have nothing to write about. Nothing much has been happening in my life these past few months – other than my abusive brother contacting me, that is, which I just wrote about. Then there’s the publication of my book and the two readings I… Continue reading Stability is a Good Thing

My Book

Great Night at the Enfield Public Library Reading/Book Signing!

I had a great time at my new book’s reading/book signing at the Enfield Public Library! Great turnout by friends and the general public – many who are survivors or know people who are survivors. It was a wonderful group of supportive and inquisitive people who were interested in me telling my story and learning… Continue reading Great Night at the Enfield Public Library Reading/Book Signing!

My Book

Book Release: My New Book is Now Available on amazon.com

See home page for details about the book. Note to my blog followers: My book contains many blog posts from this past year - most have been revised and expanded upon, some remain as originally posted. My book also contains detailed stories of my personal trauma experience as well as poems - some of these… Continue reading Book Release: My New Book is Now Available on amazon.com

Personal Power

It’s Not About Me

  The other day, I went to a new support group with a friend of mine. An old acquaintance was greeting people at the door. I haven’t seen her in about three years. She asked me what I’ve been up to and I told her that I’m about to publish a book about my healing… Continue reading It’s Not About Me