Guest Blogs

GROWTH

Patricia Grace

Living a reclusive life doesn’t mean no opportunity for growth. No matter how I hide it comes knocking, and knocking me down. Those closest offer the greatest opportunity at overcoming long standing behaviors that keep me from my best self.

Instead of pouting, turning off and away with coldness from loved ones who hurt me, the pain and tears come. And come some more. Old wounds not healed, (can they ever be?) are easily made to open causing today’s hurt to compound into pain that doubles me over.

So this is healing. Tears, pain, then more of both. The damage done was that much.

And after the tears, though more leak out over time, there is a lightness and forgiveness for those whose insensitivities caused so much pain. Pain that did not match the circumstances. Pain that went much deeper.

Why does this affect me so? Going there, opening the…

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Guest Blogs

Those Days

This poem deeply resonated with me.

Untangled

Those days
when
you know you are
okay
but you don’t feel
okay

those are the hardest
days
to navigate.

Nothing is wrong
but
everything feels
overwhelming
exhausting
scary
unsettled.

Those days
are the hardest
to just breathe.

Just be…
Just be what?
calm?
relaxed?
grounded?
trusting?

How in the present moment
when there is nothing wrong
can
I exist in a state
of uncomfortable
wobbliness?

Because those days happen!

Because that is the nature of my PTSD.
©Alexis Rose, Photo by Duangphorn Wiriya on Unsplash

Thank you for reading my books:  If I Could Tell You How It Feels,  and  Untangled, A Story of Resilience, Courage, and Triumph

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Taking Care of Myself

I Had a Chance to Feel…

I did it again. I had the opportunity to feel emotion but I wouldn’t allow it to happen. The emotion was fear. I had a good Thanksgiving with most of my family members present. It was a Thanksgiving for which to be truly grateful, not because of the gathering and sharing of food and conversation,… Continue reading I Had a Chance to Feel…

My Book

Great Night at the Enfield Public Library Reading/Book Signing!

I had a great time at my new book’s reading/book signing at the Enfield Public Library! Great turnout by friends and the general public – many who are survivors or know people who are survivors. It was a wonderful group of supportive and inquisitive people who were interested in me telling my story and learning… Continue reading Great Night at the Enfield Public Library Reading/Book Signing!

Mental Health

Emotions on the Rise

Yesterday I went to a church I attend every so often. I’m not religious, but the pastor and I have become friends and I enjoy his sermons. He is very wise and kind. The church is “Baptist,” but the congregation consists of people with diverse spiritual beliefs and practices. They are very welcoming to all… Continue reading Emotions on the Rise

Guest Blogs

why heal?

The Wisdom of Tears

159.why heal

When we want to give up on something, we hopefully weigh our options. We ask ourselves why we want to give up, and what would the cost and benefit be if we gave up. 

“Why live?” is a familiar question to this blog, so I wanted to think on the question of “Why heal?” Why go to therapy? Why read these books and articles about my ailments? Why try being healthy? Why take time to think of things that hurt so much to even recall, and had so little justice or affirmation?

I always told myself that I do these things because I don’t want to end up like my parents, whose refusal to heal turned them into the horribly broken and abusive people I know them to be. I would also remember how I want to be a wife (and maybe a mother) someday; a woman who’s…

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