Yesterday I went to a church I attend every so often. I’m not religious, but the pastor and I have become friends and I enjoy his sermons. He is very wise and kind. The church is “Baptist,” but the congregation consists of people with diverse spiritual beliefs and practices. They are very welcoming to all… Continue reading Emotions on the Rise
When we want to give up on something, we hopefully weigh our options. We ask ourselves why we want to give up, and what would the cost and benefit be if we gave up.
“Why live?” is a familiar question to this blog, so I wanted to think on the question of “Why heal?” Why go to therapy? Why read these books and articles about my ailments? Why try being healthy? Why take time to think of things that hurt so much to even recall, and had so little justice or affirmation?
I always told myself that I do these things because I don’t want to end up like my parents, whose refusal to heal turned them into the horribly broken and abusive people I know them to be. I would also remember how I want to be a wife (and maybe a mother) someday; a woman who’s…
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My nightmares are getting closer together and more intense lately. Last night was a new one, but an old theme – suffocation. After my older brother, Kevin, raped me when I was ten, I swore I would tell our mother in the morning. He left my room but came back when I was asleep. He… Continue reading Another Nightmare Last Night
See home page for details about the book. Note to my blog followers: My book contains many blog posts from this past year - most have been revised and expanded upon, some remain as originally posted. My book also contains detailed stories of my personal trauma experience as well as poems - some of these… Continue reading Book Release: My New Book is Now Available on amazon.com
I strongly relate to this and thought I’d share it with you.
There is a saying: “PTSD: It’s not the person refusing to let go of the past, but the past refusing to let go of the person.” That saying is a simple way for me to understand that try as I might, there are reasons my PTSD symptoms sometimes still have a firm chokehold on me. The list can be long depending on the time of year and triggers.
Autumn is beautiful and just started here in the Midwest. Blue skies and Vermillion colored trees often coexist with 70 degrees temperatures. This time of year, from late August until it snows represents trigger, after trigger for me. While I can appreciate the wonderful weather, the long season can be challenging with prolonged symptoms and what can seem like constant symptom management. If only my PTSD understood the calendar, and I could time my flashbacks to happen on certain calendar dates, instead…
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The other day, I went to a new support group with a friend of mine. An old acquaintance was greeting people at the door. I haven’t seen her in about three years. She asked me what I’ve been up to and I told her that I’m about to publish a book about my healing… Continue reading It’s Not About Me