My Poems

My Trauma Poems Published on fictionalcafe.com!

http://www.fictionalcafe.com/the-poetry-of-pain-by-barbara-lawrence/ Welcome to the Fictional Café, a virtual coffee shop created especially for writers and artists. Mike, Jack, Jason, Caitlin, Charlotte, Simran, Rachael and Steve, your Fictional Café baristas, welcome you! We hope you’ll love hanging out here with us, reading and talking about writing, commenting on art and photography, listening to original podcasts, and… Continue reading My Trauma Poems Published on fictionalcafe.com!

Personal Power

I’m Only a Victim If I Choose to Be

Extreme violence, chaos, and repeated sexual violation had been a way of life for me as a child, but I had never thought of myself as a victim. I just thought This is my life and I have to deal with it. This changed when, after being raped in college at the age of seventeen,… Continue reading I’m Only a Victim If I Choose to Be

Mental Health

Grounding: A Coping Tool for When I Get Triggered

When my inner child, Penelope, gets triggered, my body, mind, and emotions automatically catapult into fight or flight mode. Her number one impulse is to protect herself. She is reacting to perceived harm. These knee-jerk reactions are sometimes beyond my control. They happen so quickly that I, the adult Barbara, don’t have time to reassure… Continue reading Grounding: A Coping Tool for When I Get Triggered

Taking Care of Myself

Changing How I Relate to Food

Since childhood, I have stuffed my emotions and memories down with food. The more they would try to surface, the more I ate. I didn’t just eat – I inhaled my food. I shoved it down as fast as I could, barely chewing and hardly tasting it. For decades, I have lived my life numb,… Continue reading Changing How I Relate to Food

My Poems

Poem: River of Secrets

River of Secrets She balances at the edge of a colossal canyon, carved by the fierce river of her stolen soul. Spirit whispers to her upon eagle wings, guides her to take the plunge. She is safe, up here in the mid-day sun; its brightness hides what she fears to feel. Below lies the burden… Continue reading Poem: River of Secrets

Mental Health

How Do I Heal from Trauma?

For the past decade, my psychological and spiritual healing has been an upward spiral of understanding and acceptance as I come to terms with how my trauma has influenced my current belief system about myself and the world, and how it continues to affect my thoughts, feelings, and behavior in the present. I have learned… Continue reading How Do I Heal from Trauma?

Mental Health

Disconnect

Perhaps you have experienced occasions when you’ve “zoned out”. Times when your mind was somewhere else, maybe you’ve even lost track of time. These are usually harmless instances when one simply drifts away for a moment or two, as when one daydreams, or finds a conversation or a lecture boring. I experience symptoms of a… Continue reading Disconnect