It’s been three weeks since I spoke on the phone with my brother, Kevin – the brother who physically, emotionally, psychologically, and sexually abused me for years as a child and teenager. It was the first time we have spoken in twenty-seven years. He called my folks on Christmas day. My mother, who has Alzheimer’s… Continue reading Beneath the Surface
The healing power of perseverance…
Eight years of muscle straining, oxygen deprived, mind exploding, grief-laden work to manage the grip of the skeleton hands of the past.
The rocky terrain and deep crevasses that held the traps of programmed words ready to pull me down into oblivion were navigated at a snail’s pace of impatient mindfulness.
Deafening winds and echoes of the past kept knocking me down, pushing me sideways, making it hard to grip the rope.
After every storm passed
I took the time to rest in the snow caves of acceptance.
So many times, wanting to give up, give in to the beast of symptoms.
But trusting, knowing, that my Sherpa would guide me through the sharpest peaks and deepest valleys.
Summiting many times, thinking there were no more hidden mountains.
Then catching glimpse of the last, gnarly climb looming just around the bend.
Everything inside me screams, “No, leave it!”
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I did it again. I had the opportunity to feel emotion but I wouldn’t allow it to happen. The emotion was fear. I had a good Thanksgiving with most of my family members present. It was a Thanksgiving for which to be truly grateful, not because of the gathering and sharing of food and conversation,… Continue reading I Had a Chance to Feel…
I had a great time at my new book’s reading/book signing at the Enfield Public Library! Great turnout by friends and the general public – many who are survivors or know people who are survivors. It was a wonderful group of supportive and inquisitive people who were interested in me telling my story and learning… Continue reading Great Night at the Enfield Public Library Reading/Book Signing!
My nightmares are getting closer together and more intense lately. Last night was a new one, but an old theme – suffocation. After my older brother, Kevin, raped me when I was ten, I swore I would tell our mother in the morning. He left my room but came back when I was asleep. He… Continue reading Another Nightmare Last Night
See home page for details about the book. Note to my blog followers: My book contains many blog posts from this past year - most have been revised and expanded upon, some remain as originally posted. My book also contains detailed stories of my personal trauma experience as well as poems - some of these… Continue reading Book Release: My New Book is Now Available on amazon.com