Hi, everyone. It's been a long time since I've posted anything. Been working through long bouts of depression with intermittent periods of mania. I'm currently writing my second collection of poetry, as well as participating in two writers' groups, so that keeps me pretty busy these days. Now for the news. I've written previously that… Continue reading Reconnecting with My Abuser
Category: Taking Care of Myself
Spring – A Time for New Beginnings
As the days get warmer, sun and blue skies become the norm. Trees haven’t begun to bud, here in my part of Connecticut, and the grass has yet to sprout green blades, but I know these things will happen soon. My heart grows lighter as anticipation blooms. I am slowly coming out of my winter… Continue reading Spring – A Time for New Beginnings
How Childhood Trauma Affects Health Across a Lifetime
My Brother Made Contact
For those of you who have been following my blog, you know that I was sexually, physically, and psychologically abused by one of my older brothers for years. I’ve written about my resulting PTSD and the personal challenges I have faced in learning to live with the effects of trauma. I’ve written about my healing… Continue reading My Brother Made Contact
I Had a Chance to Feel…
I did it again. I had the opportunity to feel emotion but I wouldn’t allow it to happen. The emotion was fear. I had a good Thanksgiving with most of my family members present. It was a Thanksgiving for which to be truly grateful, not because of the gathering and sharing of food and conversation,… Continue reading I Had a Chance to Feel…
Another Nightmare Last Night
My nightmares are getting closer together and more intense lately. Last night was a new one, but an old theme – suffocation. After my older brother, Kevin, raped me when I was ten, I swore I would tell our mother in the morning. He left my room but came back when I was asleep. He… Continue reading Another Nightmare Last Night
Changing How I Relate to Food
Since childhood, I have stuffed my emotions and memories down with food. The more they would try to surface, the more I ate. I didn’t just eat – I inhaled my food. I shoved it down as fast as I could, barely chewing and hardly tasting it. For decades, I have lived my life numb,… Continue reading Changing How I Relate to Food
Learning to Be at Peace with My Body
This entry might trigger you. It could be helpful for you to talk to someone if this happens. The relationship I have developed with my body is an amalgam of complex psychological and emotional issues brought about by the effects of trauma, as well as being raised to be a beauty pageant contestant and model.… Continue reading Learning to Be at Peace with My Body
I Walk with a Limp 