Guest Blogs

My feelings about the Word forgiveness and trauma healing

Alexis on Forgiveness jens-johnsson

Alexis shares her valuable insight about forgiveness, and how we all heal in our own way.

Untangled

My caveat: I understand that we all have our own histories and beliefs. These are my personal feelings about the word forgiveness. They are not meant to sway anyone’s way of dealing with their perpetrators or their belief system.

The conversation surrounding the word forgiveness came up again for me last week when I had a meeting with someone who was looking for ways to increase their client base, in an extremely crowded therapeutic community. It was going well until this person became adamant that the only way a client can heal is if they forgive their abusers. When I interjected that I believed that there may be other ways to look at forgiveness, the meeting went downhill and became uncomfortable for both of us. To be honest, I’m not sure how we went from talking marketing strategies to this topic, but it happened.

Forgiveness, what does that really mean in terms…

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Guest Blogs

Whether it’s Daisy’s or Weeds it’s Still Your Life

I deeply resonated with this blog post by Alexis Rose. Her words carry great wisdom and insight.

Untangled

I was speaking with a dear friend the other day, who happens to be another trauma survivor. We share a very similar past and both live with sometimes debilitating PTSD. Like me, my friend is always striving to heal, and thrive in spite of her past trauma. Like many other survivors we understand that we are not our past, we are not our trauma, and just like people with a physical illness, we still need to attend to and manage our symptoms.

There is a common expression that explains what it’s like to live with PTSD.  “PTSD: It’s not the person refusing to let go of the past, but the past refusing to let go of the person.”

One of the questions that people often ask is, “Are you sure you want to remember your past?” Or a common statement is, “Just let the past go.” Both of these are said and/or…

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Guest Blogs

Silence

Silence, as it relates to childhood sexual abuse, can be devastating. In this post, Alexis powerfully shares how the Silence that came with abuse affected her.

Untangled

Dedicated to all the survivors I’ve met and the ones I’ve yet to meet along the way. For those who have found their voice and those who are still working on finding it. Silence can mean so many things…this is my interpretation of how the silence felt. 

The silence was the worst sometimes.

That moment when an abusive event ends.

The silence is sometimes the most uncomfortable part of being hurt.  It’s a strange feeling to see someone who has just hurt you in ways that are abhorrent just turn around and walk away.

Watching them leave. It felt as if they were also taking a little piece of my spirit with them leaving another tatter, another rip in my already shredded soul.

It wasn’t very often that my abusers would say anything when they are finished.

The feeling of invisibility was palpable.

No yelling, crying, blaming, scolding; they just simply finish and leave…

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Guest Blogs

Self Doubt: My Unwanted (but invited) House Guest

This post couldn’t have come into my life at a better moment. I am working on my own issues of self-doubt as it relates to my writing ability and my desire to publish a collection of essays and personal stories about my trauma experience. Alexis’ words both comfort and inspire me to persevere.

Untangled

I was offered (and I accepted) an amazing opportunity to co-facilitate workshops for a wonderful program for trauma survivors beginning this Fall.  After the initial excitement and the happy dance, I felt an old familiar internal nagging, and then my unwanted but invited guest stop by…

A familiar knock on my self-esteem’s door seems to happen when I’m making a big change, taking a risk, sharing my writing, speaking in front of groups, or accepting another layer of learning to live with the limitations of PTSD.

I would like to say that self-doubt comes uninvited to my self-esteem’s house during these transition times, but that wouldn’t be honest. I don’t believe Mr. Doubt (as I call it) would come calling unless it was invited. It may be unwanted, but since it arrived with hat in hand, I ask it to come in for tea and tell me what it thinks of me.

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Guest Blogs

Open and Stay

This eloquent post depicts and captures the experience of disconnecting and the immense effort it takes to remain in the present moment.

Patricia J Grace

latest mosaic 

Move back into the body, slow down, breathe. Again and again this reminder is needed. At the sink my mind flies past the present chore unconnected to brain or body, and my hand slips off the dish in my haste. And this is how my life has been lived, roaring past the present moment- not living in it.

How could it be any different? The splintering occurring during rape was complete… the severing of self, absolute. It takes work, plus a great deal of courage to be here now. Is now in the present moment safe? Feeling it wasn’t, my psyche took me elsewhere, and when a break is needed that ‘safe place’ is visited. 

A loud or sudden noise, a simple disagreement, angst of any kind, spirals the body into overload and fright. It is not by choice to be this way. It is my choice…

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