Guest Blogs

Just Be

I look forward to the day when I can take action on these wise words.

Patricia J Grace

The struggle is to make room for all the feelings and not run. That door is locked, open it, let it air. Because closing off one room causes stagnation. Free the feeling by feeling it and acknowledging it is there which allows for quicker dissipation.

Running from a feeling freezes and locks it. There it stays until the door is opened. The tendency is to escape from feelings of sadness or loneliness on this bright sunshiny day. Yet those feelings accompany me daily as part of my whole repertoire.

Note those and move on, because other feelings also exist. When burying one, you bury them all; the bright greens of summer while walking the meadow as the soft breeze whispers through my hair, the heron startled by my presence lifting off with such grace to fish farther down the creek, the intense quiet of a summer day interspersed with a…

View original post 31 more words

Guest Blogs

Fireworks and PTSD

This is an important message.

roven-images-601197-unsplash

Untangled

We are heading into the weekend before the 4th of July.  The holiday lands on a Wednesday this year. The firework store billboards are now up, looming huge on the side of the road, and the fireworks-stands seem to pop up out of nowhere in the parking lot of strip malls. Business must be pretty good, because already many, many people are shooting off fireworks and firecrackers at all hours of the day and night.

I understand the fun and enjoyment some people may have from setting off fireworks. Although there are many legal fireworks for sale in the state where I live, there is a never-ending supply of both legal and illegal varieties lying in wait for the excited revelers to buy just across our state-line. There you can purchase the big ones, the percussion of which shakes the houses in the neighborhood.

We have become accustomed to many…

View original post 439 more words

Guest Blogs

STAY

This really resonated with me.

Patricia J Grace

The letter came, “You are permanently excused from jury duty.”

Words used to delineate challenges since childhood describe a very incapable person. Shaking off those thoughts I know that by owning my past I became whole.

A child abused is not allowed to recover. All those years no one knew what lurked inside, the tangle, confusion, and wounds bleeding deep. You look like everyone else. That is the goal because you don’t want to know either.

But until you do, the parts remain scattered and you run. You run to food, alcohol, shopping, and business, whatever takes you elsewhere than within your own soul. You don’t want to be you so you run.

Settle in, hold on, and peace will come.

View original post

Guest Blogs

Mindfulness and Grief

Powerful and insightful words from one of the trauma survivor bloggers I follow.

Photo by Geran de Klerk on Unsplash

geran-de-klerk-263475

Untangled

My mindfulness and meditation practice is extremely important to me. Some mindfulness masters teach that you cannot fully begin to meditate until you have wept deeply. I once read a story of a Zen teacher who flirted with meditation for years before he decided to commit. He recalled how he wept openly and often for two years and only after he had grieved for many things in his life was he able to sit in silence.

Recently, as I was sitting outside enjoying a beautiful day, I began to feel the pull of profound grief and sadness for the life I had uncovered: the loss, the pain, the torture, the years that I clung to survival as my only way of life. I was sad for the years of having no hope, no dreams, and no promises made, thinking that whoever came into my life would leave. I don’t dwell there…

View original post 639 more words

Guest Blogs

JOY

This blog post resonates deep within me.

Patricia J Grace

photo by Patricia

The hardness in my heart left no room for joy, or peace, or any kind of lasting contentment. The rage burning was not my doing, nor was the inability to know how to give it the salve needed to put out the blaze. The fire needed to speak. The family squelched that right. The family so desperately needed even if it was the source of the open, frizzling, scalding wound.

It wasn’t until over the age of fifty that facts came out of me where they had festered for decades, first as a little girl when no one came, then all the years hence where the traumas swirled. And she was like an ice box with an explosion inside.

Who will let her talk? Who will help her feel safe? And even in safety the bars of childhood silence lock her down. The filth and muddy tar…

View original post 58 more words

Guest Blogs

My feelings about the Word forgiveness and trauma healing

Alexis on Forgiveness jens-johnsson

Alexis shares her valuable insight about forgiveness, and how we all heal in our own way.

Untangled

My caveat: I understand that we all have our own histories and beliefs. These are my personal feelings about the word forgiveness. They are not meant to sway anyone’s way of dealing with their perpetrators or their belief system.

The conversation surrounding the word forgiveness came up again for me last week when I had a meeting with someone who was looking for ways to increase their client base, in an extremely crowded therapeutic community. It was going well until this person became adamant that the only way a client can heal is if they forgive their abusers. When I interjected that I believed that there may be other ways to look at forgiveness, the meeting went downhill and became uncomfortable for both of us. To be honest, I’m not sure how we went from talking marketing strategies to this topic, but it happened.

Forgiveness, what does that really mean in terms…

View original post 595 more words

Guest Blogs

Whether it’s Daisy’s or Weeds it’s Still Your Life

I deeply resonated with this blog post by Alexis Rose. Her words carry great wisdom and insight.

Untangled

I was speaking with a dear friend the other day, who happens to be another trauma survivor. We share a very similar past and both live with sometimes debilitating PTSD. Like me, my friend is always striving to heal, and thrive in spite of her past trauma. Like many other survivors we understand that we are not our past, we are not our trauma, and just like people with a physical illness, we still need to attend to and manage our symptoms.

There is a common expression that explains what it’s like to live with PTSD.  “PTSD: It’s not the person refusing to let go of the past, but the past refusing to let go of the person.”

One of the questions that people often ask is, “Are you sure you want to remember your past?” Or a common statement is, “Just let the past go.” Both of these are said and/or…

View original post 623 more words