I shared about being triggered by my abusive brother wanting to meet with me with my journaling group the other day. I shared about writing my book in the hope of helping other survivors know that they are not alone, and to help educate people about the effects of childhood violence and sexual abuse, and PTSD. One woman in the group became very vocal and insistent with her opinion.
She told me, “You need to stop talking and writing about your abuse. You’ll never heal that way. You just keep reliving the trauma every time you do. You need to let go and move on. That was then, this is now.”
I wanted her to understand, so I started to tell her why I talk and write about my abuse history, but she wasn’t open to hearing me, so I stopped. If she’d have been open, I could have told her how I feel.
Writing and talking about the abuse I endured is what makes healing possible. I was forced into silence and secrecy as a child and as a teenager. The more I write and talk about my abuse and PTSD, the less power they have over me. The more I speak up, the more I let my voice be heard – especially if my words can help other survivors – the more powerful I become.
I will continue to tell my story while there is breath in my lungs. I will continue to write about my thoughts and feelings and my journey toward healing, in hope that by doing so I might help ease the pain of other survivors and create awareness in those who haven’t endured trauma. I will never allow my voice to be silenced again.