Exciting Changes Coming!
What’s Been Happening Lately
My message is one of perseverance, courage, and hope and my striving to live an authentic life.
One of my long-term goals was to get to the point in my healing journey where I no longer feel the need to identify as a “trauma survivor”. I’m thrilled to inform everyone that I have surpassed that goal by far!
I’ve been working with an EMDR therapist for a little over 2 years. She’s helped me tremendously in reprocessing stored trauma and helping me attain co-consciousness with my “parts” and helping create a sense of safety for them. I’m now working with her on expressive art creations to process the few remaining parts that still carry a sense of unworthiness. Gone is the fear and insecurity. Gone is the shame and self-loathing and rage. Gone is the the perfectionism and self-criticism, the angry outbursts, the binge eating, and self-sabotage and all the other isms that have kept me from living my best life.
In September, 2022, I subscribed to The Nervous System Solution, created and overseen by Dr. Linnea (link below). She created the Heal Your Nervous System (HYNS) program, working with nervous system dysregulation, which, I discovered, is the primary core issue for most trauma survivors (or anyone struggling to cope with depression, anxiety, chronic pain, addictive behaviors, and more).
I cannot convey the extent to which learning how to manage my symptoms of an activated sympatheitc nervous system (fight/flight/freeze/fawn state) by creating a sense of embodied safety and showing me how to live in a state of parasympathetic regulation (rest and digest) utilizing Havening Touch and various regulation tools and strategies has impacted my life. A big part of this process has been learning to treat myself with gentle self-compassion and curious inquiry.
In February, 2023 I began a five-week journey working one-on-one with one of their Certified Havening Techniques Practitioners, Cara Dinley (link below) – one hour per week. The change in how I relate to my body and chronic pain and learning to interrupt and reframe the stories I tell myself, skyrocketed my healing and created rapid and major shifts in my energy and awareness. Cara told me she prefers not to use the word “healing” as there is nothing wrong with us; we are not broken and we don’t need fixing. “It’s all about letting go and releasing the accumulated gunk of the past.”
Since working with HYNS and Havening Techniques, which focuses on neural plasticity and creating new neural pathways (among other things), I’ve undergone MAJOR and PROFOUND transformations. I reclaimed my authentic self. I became empowered with a strong sense of safety and hope for the future and am able to envision my ideal life – and feel WORTHY of it.
I reclaimed color. For decades all I wore were black jeans, socks and shoes/boots and muted grays and blues. I hid my Light from the world. After two one-hour sessions with Cara, I ditched the black and bought an entirely new colorful wardrobe. I’m even wearing pink! I didn’t even like pink as a child.
I invested in new furnishings and artwork for my living room and bedroom that express and reflect my authentic self, higher vibration and positive attitude/outlook on life.
I finally turned the corner on decades of unhealthy emotional eating and detoxed off all sugar and refined carbs. I now focus on nourishing my body with healty food.
Yesterday I caught myself dancing and singing along to a song on Pandora in my living room. I haven’t danced in four years. I also, after working with Cara for three sessions, sang out loud while pushing a cart around a very crowded store. When I realized this, I didn’t feel self-conscious at all. I said out loud, “That’s right. I’m singing!” and kept on singing. The reason this is so profound for me is that I haven’t sung since taking voice lessons in the 80’s while working as an actress/dancer. I wouldn’t sing at birthday parties and I wouldn’t sing carols while working in a nursing facility. I wouldn’t even sing when I was alone in my home or car with the windows rolled up. I hated how my voice sounded and carried the story from childhood that my singing hurt people’s ears.
I removed all negative vibes and people from my life: you tube channels and news websites dedicated to politics and all that’s “wrong with the world”. I let go of feeling the need/responsibility to be an engaged activist, which kept me focused on negativity and kept me living in a state of anxiety and fear. I acknowledged that yes, there are many things that need changing and many underserved demographics, but I don’t need to be the voice that addresses them. I cancelled my public access TV show, Beyond the Shadows, which was scheduled to address issues such as prison reform, gun violence, bullying, LGBTQIA+ issues, abuse in all its forms, addiction, suicide, eating disorders, and on and on. I taped and aired 6 episodes: four focused on domestic violence, one on child sex trafficking. I realized this focus was keeping me vibrating at a lower frequency.
I then taped and aired the first segment of my series on alternative healing modalities, which focused on energy work and developing intuition. After a few months of participating in the HYNS program, I concluded I want to focus on Light and Love and community and art and music and beauty (not physical beauty) and all the good things this world and human race have to offer.
I want my message to be one of EMPOWERMENT that helps nourish minds, bodies, and souls.
I want to move forward in my journey developing my intuitive and energetic abilities as a Lightworker.
And so… I will be shutting down this site soon and creating a new one, entitled Soul Sifter as I no longer “walk with a limp” and have processed and released my connection and identity with my trauma story. I already have the website domain and email address (website not yet under construction): http://www.soulsifter.org and email is firstname.lastname@example.org
My thinking was to create a podcast and you tube channel, interviewing other Lightworkers from around the world, but I’ll have to wait and see. I continue to evolve on a daily basis. I will simply remain open to what the Universe wants to send my way.
For now, I’m focusing on developing my creative skills as a graphic design artist and musician. My hope is to one day present immersive sensory experiences in the form of musical concerts playing my RAV drum (link below) incorporating looping, lighting, background visuals and dance and performing with guest artists. I’m also interested in bringing ecstatic dances to my area (alcohol/substance/judgement-free and family friendly).
Visit these links for more info:
The Nervous System Solution: https://www.thenervoussystemsolution.com
Cara Dinley – Certified Havening Techniques Practitioner: https://www.resilientmindsandbodies.com
RAV Drum video: https://youtu.be/LRsz3xUGDtI (this is my drum)
Handpan video: https://youtu.be/EggcMNMmrD4
Ecstatic Dance video: https://youtu.be/9CEnSTruBBg
Ecstatic Dance (community) video: https://ecstaticdance.org/dance/pollinate-dance
I hope anyone struggling with symptoms of PTSD or any other form of unwellness will investigate what worked for me. Definitely worth the investment!
Until next time,
Blessings and Love,